i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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