Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I believe in your delicious
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
