I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm like, not good at living.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
