just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
