it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
