Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
