Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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