have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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