Sponge bath it is.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
