Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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