I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
