If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
