This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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