I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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