Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
