You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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