fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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