He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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