She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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