I can tuck mytits in my pants
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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