so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
