So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
