I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
