We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize