Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
