Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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