I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
