I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So vagazzling was a success
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
