You work out of a Hotel?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she looked like the before picture.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
