oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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