:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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