we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
