Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
