if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
