His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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