I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
