ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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