idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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