Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
