She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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