You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My balls are so social today.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
