He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
