absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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