Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
