my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize