paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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