Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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