I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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