So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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