You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
