So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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