and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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