either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
