dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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