When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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