What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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