Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
