dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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