Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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