I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize