I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
