our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize