He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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